14 Ways of Being in Quarantine
Melizarani T.Selva, 2 Jan 2021
The most odd, luxurious and mandatory/must-do local travel itinerary of 2020 has to be the 14-day quarantine enforced by the Singapore government. Instead of getting to know the city’s attractions and misgivings, the two weeks I spent confined in a 25sqm hotel room offered me the opportunity to discover the nooks and crannies of my being.
An opportunity I never quite asked for but am grateful for all the same.
On Nov 27, 2020, I crossed the Causeway from Johor Bahru into Woodlands Checkpoint via a cramped shuttle bus. Unlike previous journeys to Singapore, saying goodbye to my father at the JB Sentral bus stand, knowing that I would not be allowed to return to my homeland for 90 days, was more melancholic than both of us imagined. While earning in Sing Dollars is an ambition many Malaysians spend a lifetime chasing, the SG$2,000 Stay-Home Notice fees pales in comparison to the price of leaving our families during a pandemic, not knowing when we’ll be able to afford to see each other again.
I dragged my two luggage bags and a laptop backpack bursting with documentation and disinfectant wipes through bureaucratic hoops and checkpoints, without any knowledge as to which SHN Dedicated Facility I would be placed in, until the bus finally pulled into the lobby of Oasia Hotel Novena.
Without a room key, I was escorted through the Level 10 corridor, which had banquet chairs covered in plastic bags blocking each door, until I reached Room 1007. The hotel staff unlocked my room, cautioned me to never open the door fully or step outside the room at any point, and closed the door in front of me.
Day 0 / Recon Mission
There is this scene in the film Enough (2002), where Jennifer Lopez’s character breaks into her abusive ex-husband’s home to prepare for her final revenge. She blindfolds herself and walks around his house, learning every light switch, hazard and pre-existing sound. She memorises the number of footsteps it would take her to reach a piece of furniture or the stairs, because knowing a place in the dark adds leverage. While the movie flopped in the box office, that scene was a valuable life lesson. As soon as the door closed behind me, I checked every tap, switch and plug point. This is how I learned that the hotel phone was faulty, WIFI speed tested poorly and the bathroom sink tap was designed to splash furiously onto my clothes. Information is essential, not because I needed my hotel to match my living standards but I needed to know how to build a life within this new “home”, as quickly as possible. Knowing what I can and cannot control within a space helped me adapt.
The hotel staff was swift to resolve every issue I pointed out and promptly sent me Halal food at 1.30pm and 7.30pm. My first meal was nasi lemak.
Quaran-tune Of The Day:
Talking Heads - This Must Be The Place
Day 1: The Ironing Board is a Stage
Ring Lights, Unlimited Data and Ironing Board. Out of the many skills I have developed in 2020, producing and moderating a literary event in quarantine tops the list. On Dec 28, I put my SHN anxieties aside to play my role as programme director of PEN Malaysia & George Town Literary Festival ‘Sembang Baru / New Conversations’ series and simultaneously, was the moderator for the penultimate event in the series, The Malaysian Women’s Manifesto. As my technical director and dear friend Daniel Cerventus Lim virtually walked around my room searching for a suitable backdrop, I gained a newfound appreciation for the soundcheck exercise. Daniel suggested I borrow an ironing board from the hotel to act as a movable table with adjustable height. On it, I anchored my speakers, Ann Lee, Carol Koh, Julya Oui, Sreedhevi Iyer and Siti Rahayu Baharin, on StreamYard and assured them that no matter what happens to anyone’s WIFI, the show must go on. And it did, successfully and smoothly.
Quaran-tune Of The Day:
Rolling Blackouts Coastal Fever - French Press
Day 2: Window shopping and things to curb unpleasant thoughts
Perhaps it was post-show blues or not being able to go for a walk outdoors or the Black Friday Sale weekend, but all I did today was sign up for RedMart to purchase groceries as well as a Nespresso Milk Frother that was on a massive discount plus free delivery.
I regret nothing.
When I was not fighting Flash Sale pop-up windows, I spent hours gazing out the bay window, watching my neighbour get a haircut on his balcony, distinguishing which balconies fostered families versus bachelors and stalked a kaftan aunty who sweeps her balcony routinely at noon. I wondered if they could see me.
Day 3: Lily-like coping mechanisms
The best Quaran-tip I have to offer anyone is the act of buying lily buds via Far East Wholesale Market , around Day 3 and witness how they blossom and wither alongside you throughout the remaining days of quarantine. Lilies typically have a lifespan of 10 days. This helped me wrangle a sense of time passing. Waking up to the morning sun kissing the lily petals through the sealed windows brought me continuous joy and faithful companionship on the darkest nights of silent rainfall.
Quaran-tune Of The Day:
Noh Salleh - Bunga Di Telinga
Day 4: Rice. Rice. Rice. Protocol
When I was 17 years old, I was drafted into the National Service Programme for 3 months in Tambunan, Sabah. We were given 6 meals a day, 3 square meals and 3 carbohydrate-rich snacks, in accordance with the government’s restrictions on our calorie intake. Each meal contained some form of rice or bread because the goal is not to nourish, but to appease. If a person is not hungry, they are less likely to complain/retaliate. So, when black plastic trays containing obscene portions of white rice, basmati rice and/or nasi goreng arrived, I was more amused by the variety than the quantity. Beyond the rice, I heeded the advice of fellow quarantiners on the 13,000 strong Singapore Hotel Quarantine Information & Experience FB group and brought my own plates and cutlery to help with mood and portion control.
Before plating food (L) and after plating food (R)
Quaran-tune Of The Day:
FUGO - Waiting
Day 5: Reading in fragments / Watching in bulk
Contrary to the daydreams of my literary friends, a two week quarantine is not a residency. At least not for me. My mind was fraught with anxiety from the lack of fresh air and ability to do anything but stay exactly where I am. I designated quadrants within my room, made a little reading nook and planned out TV time. Here are bits of what I consumed and enjoyed:
Undrowned: Black Feminist Lessons from Marine Mammals by Alexis Pauline Gumbs
Available here: https://www.akpress.org/undrowned-ebook.html
Hands down, the most extraordinary non-fiction book I’ve read this year. Weaving in thread of commonalities between the human body and the marine mammal, this book deepened my breathing and sensory awareness of activism, the Black Lives Matter movement and what it means to thrive as a minority (Thank you Veshalini Naidu for this wholesome recommendation).
2. Becoming an Essentialist: Greg McKeown interviewed by Matt D’Avella
Available here: https://youtu.be/h8u4clhDHvQ
Two productivity bros talking about making a meaningful life through a disciplined pursuit of less and figuring out what is essential and eliminating what isn’t in our lives
3. Ludo (2020)
Available on Netflix: https://www.netflix.com/title/81107576
A hilariously twisted Hindi dark comedy crime anthology directed by Anurag Basu, starring Abhishek Bachchan. Very Pulp Fiction-y with four wild stories that overlap with each other and is held together with a stellar cast and a fantastic soundtrack.
4. Uncle Roger reacting to white people destroying rice
Available here: https://youtu.be/t_KdbASIkB8
Malaysian comedian Nigel Ng’s character Uncle Roger is my favourite and most healing content to come out of 2020. Watching reruns of Uncle Roger roasting Jamie Oliver made my quarantine bearable and accidentally taught me the meaning of wok hey.
5. SingPoWriMo.com - Issue No. 5 - THIS ONE OSO CAN
Available here: https://www.singpowrimo.com/
Consuming and experiencing draft versions over and over again alongside my co-editor Cheyenne Alexandria Phillips was an absolutely enriching experience. Headphones on for Will Beale’s mixtape-like article ‘Soundcheck: Four Artists Reflect On Their Creative Journeys’ and a meditative scroll through Charis Loke and Max Loh’s ‘The Word for World is Image’ plus a whole bunch of poems to enjoy.
Fun Fact: Cheyenne and I recorded our video foreword during quarantine.
Quaran-tune Of The Day:
Outkast - SpottieOttieDopalicious
Day 6: Ministry of Manpower is my first mother
Every day of the quarantine, at random hours, my most attentive Singaporean mother of conditional love, MOM (Ministry Of Manpower) would call me. Sometimes it would be a video call. Sometimes it would be two voice calls, once in English and once in Tamil.
Each call would be approximately two minutes and sound something like this:
MOM: Hello, is this Muh-muhlee-meliani-zaRAni-KUMAR?!
Me: I am Melizarani, yes hello.
MOM: I am _______ from MOM, can you verify the last 4 digits of your FIN number?
Me: XXXX
MOM: And which hotel are you at?
Me: XXXX, Novena.
MOM: Are you alone? / Is there anyone in the room with you?
Me: Yes / No
MOM: Good. What work permit do you hold?
Me: XXXX
MOM: Have you been submitting your temperature and selfie three times a day on the Homer app?
Me: Yes.
MOM: Make sure your phone is never switched off and the Location is enabled at all times for us to track you.
Me: Okay.
MOM: Ma'am, I will now turn on Video Call, please enable Video for one minute and show me your room?
Me: *turns on video and walks around room*
MOM: Okay. Have you opened the door and walked outside at all?
Me: No.
MOM: Very good, ma'am. Please stay inside your room. Failure to do so will result in revocation of your work permit. And finally, are you well?
Me: Uhh...yes.
MOM: That is all. Thank you. *click*
Quaran-tune Of The Day:
Jamie Issac - Doing Better
Day 7: Care Packages & Check in Calls
No matter what The Love Language Quiz says about me, there is no greater love than a genuine check-in call/text from the ones you love and those who love you back. My furthest and dearest family, friends, partner and cat rang me when MOM didn’t. Dhinesha Karthigesu and Veshalini Naidu dotted my calendar with our very own “decompression chamber” video calls to calm ourselves in turns on challenging days. My best friend Will Beale dispatched a slice of his birthday cake, Two Men Bagel sandwich, Moccona Coffee and a carton of milk (thanks Dei!). My friends deployed delivery riders to send me care packages of all kinds of chocolate, espresso coffee drip bags (thanks Bernice Chauly!), acai bowls (thanks Michelle Leong!), my pillow and desk fan from home (thanks Sara Stillman!) and 10 sweet oranges (thanks Kamil Haque!) for my comfort/nutrition. I am forever grateful.
Quaran-tune Of The Day:
Fazerdaze - Lucky Girl
Day 8: Yoga in pyjamas
Thanks to 2020’s Zoom Boom, the most liberating discovery I’ve made during quarantine is doing yoga in my pyjamas. I may never spend $80 on branded leggings, ever again. Instead, I will spend that money and energy at Nithya Priyan School of Yoga. Out of dozens of online instructors I tried and tested this year, virtual classes with Instructor Priyan have been the most professional and enriching. With pristine audio, clear instructions, he navigates the hybrid yoga classroom effortlessly and even managed to monitor my poses closely to ensure I did not accidentally hurt myself in the process. I was and still am in awe. Quarantine Zoom yoga has rejuvenated my understanding of fitness must-haves. Ultimately all I really need to do is show up, consistently. Six rounds of asanas in sweatpants and makeshift yoga blocks later, I swear by this.
Quaran-tune Of The Day:
Letta Mbulu - Normalizo
Day 9: Hunger pangs and comfort food
Nine days without masala thosai proved to be impossible. This was the day I realised that hunger can be agonisingly specific. Lukewarm quarantine food eventually scorched my soul and so I sought repair from Anjappar thali sets, palak paneer from Khansama and the eternally joyful thosai meals from Komala’s. These are the foods that kept me whole. Towards the final days of quarantine, I completely surrendered to GRAB delivery costs from Race Course Road without a second thought.
Quaran-tune Of The Day:
C. Ramchandra - Qismat Ki Hawa Kabhi Naram
Day 10: Covid Test Day
Room door opens. Person in plastic scrubs escorts me out of the room. “Keep your hands clasped or in your pockets, DO NOT TOUCH THE BUTTONS on the elevator PLEASE!” Lift takes us down to Basement 1. Queue. “DO NOT TALK TO EACH OTHER PLIS!”. Queue. FIN Number/Passport. Queue. Swab test. Right nostril. Left nostril. Right nostril again. Breathe. Queue. Nasal discomfort. Queue. Person in plastic scrubs escorts me back into the elevator. Hands clasped. Doors open. Queue. Stand in front of my hotel room door. Room 1007. Person in scrubs unlocks the door. I enter the room. “Result will be sent to you within 48 hours. Have a good day!”. Door closes. Waiting continues.
Quaran-tune Of The Day:
David Bowie - Let’s Dance
Day 11: Writing out the sentence
I wrote everything down.
Scribbled my body temperature next to the date and day number.
Summed my varied feelings each day into a single word.
Collected the sounds and sights of each passing moment.
I wrote in bullet point with a blue pen, with procedural dryness and curt sentences.
This turned out to be a language on its own.
Quaran-tune Of The Day:
Charlie Megira - The Girl Who Was Frightened of Ashtrays
Day 12: Luxuries we maybe can afford.
Every SHN experience varies according to an individual’s circumstances, finances and privileges. It is a costly and strenuous exercise that I saved up for. If you are reading this and are about to enter quarantine, please do everything you can to look after yourself, in the ways you know and with the means you have. Some quarantiners shipped treadmills and microwaves ovens to themselves but I found immense bliss in these:
1) My own pillow
2) Chromecast / HDMI cable
3) USB Fan / Desk Fan (for ventilation in a room with sealed windows and to dry towels)
4) A sharp knife
5) That milk frother I ordered...plus the coffee drip bags I was gifted...because making my own coffee was the most satisfying and normalising experience.
Textual and tangible support is always necessary. So, here is a downloadable/printable packing list, quaran-tips and JB to SG border crossing best practices to help you get by:
Quaran-tune Of The Day:
Anderson .Paak’s album ‘Malibu’ (on loop)
Day 13 / Leave it better than you found it
As I Febreeze-d the curtains, as I have done so every two days, the words “leave it better than…” came to mind. I imagined how surprised the hotel staff would be if they entered my room only to find it smelling a little better than before I checked in. But I don’t know about better, but I can do “neutral” After each method acting workshop at Haque Centre of Acting & Creativity (HCAC), Kamil Haque instructs us to “return the studio to neutral”; chairs folded in its corner, stage props in its shelves, theatre stage emptied out from people. It isn’t better, but it is enough for the next person to occupy.
As I packed to leave tomorrow, there was a sudden pang of anxiety knowing that I would need to leave this place forever. The safety and security of this home I had built over two weeks would vanish. The door would lock behind me when I exit and there is no returning. I’d walk out and into a mall with an MRT station, sharing oxygen and elbow room with thousands of people. I would not be able to mute the world for 14 days again.
There is this scene in the film ‘Room’ (2015) in which Brie Larson’s character Joy and her son, Jack have been held captive in a squalid room with a skylight for 7 years. Up until the point of their escape, Joy makes Jack believe that only things inside the Room are real. In the final scene, Joy fulfils Jack’s desire to return to Room one last time, only to feel it is a different place and shrunk in size. Room is not the same, now that they can leave it. And they are not the same either. I wonder if I will ever return to 1007, I wonder if I’ll want to/yearn to return, knowing that I have autonomy/choice to leave as I please.
Quaran-tune Of The Day:
The Velvet Underground - Oh! Sweet Nuthin’
Day 14 / Farewell window friends
I write this piece while witnessing my final sunrise in quarantine. I watch my temporary neighbours wake up and draw their curtains to bring the light into their homes. I have come to know which apartment windows light up and which sliding doors open. We are half awake. I still wonder if they can see me as clearly as I see them. I wonder if we’ll ever see each other in the outside world.
I bid them goodbye. Goodbye unicorn floatation device on the 9th floor. Goodbye kaftan auntie who sweeps the balcony at 12.30pm everyday. Goodbye family of houseplants. Goodbye insomniac with Post-It notes for a curtain. I hope you’ll never be confined within your walls for too long. But if you must be, I hope you will be comfortable, content and able to live on your own terms.
